erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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