my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
NoShamevember. You game?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
