i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
