oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
