new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
