he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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