mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
