Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
