My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
