Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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