On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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