Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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