How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
