Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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