Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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