Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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