I am midnight drunk by noon
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
