I think i sorta joined a cult last night
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
