talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
