Everything about him screamed your future.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
