I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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