you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
