I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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