It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
