I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
