He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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