Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
