I accidentally had phone sex last night
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
