I can't watch pbs sober anymore
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
