Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
