I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
