If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
