I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
