You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
