if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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