Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
