Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
