Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
