Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
