maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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