Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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