he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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