OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
