I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We had sex on a dog bed..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
