But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
