I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
