The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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