Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
