If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
