you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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