Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
