I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
